By Eric Leocadio

The journey. This past year has been quite a roller coaster. It has been wrought with drama and craziness and new projects and new experiences. It has been quite an adventure!

The year of 2008 can be marked with transition and foundations. I definitely feel that it has been a preparatory year for 2009 as I can foresee many new adventures. While this year has been filled with mixed emotions, I can say that it has been on a consistent direction – one that points to bridge building through authentic relationships.

That is the adventure of my life!

There's been ten life lessons that my Hawaiian jungle adventure taught me this summer which I'll share further down in this post. For starters, this year, I've transitioned out of my role as the Southern California regional group leader for the Gay Christian Network (GCN) so that I could invest my energies with broader projects:

* I was part of the team that came together in Chicago to develop what came to become GCN's five missional directions for the organization.

* I put together the Catalyst Community Board of Directors, serving as President, and together we shaped a better foundation for our organization – developing a new brand and image, strategic business plan, web presence utilizing viral technology, team building, and we secured our 501c3 non-profit designation status – making us official and legit, woo hoo!

* I am a core team member for the HIV/AIDS Collaborative of Long Beach who are working with both HIV positive and negative people to nurture authentic relationships while meeting people's needs.

* I am a founding team member of a Coalition of Bridge Builders who are facilitating a safe and productive dialogue within the broader Church (both conservative/traditional and also inclusive/gay churches) regarding GLBT individuals within our community.

* I was part of a team with Global Lifeworks that was organizing a personal growth experiential seminar for the GLBT community.

* I took my blog to the next evolution and developed the Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community for both gay and straight “Journey Christians” to provide a space for people to connect beyond the lens of sin/not sin.

* I worked with my pal Ryan to develop a new term called “swervemat” - a learning space where one explores various viewpoints of a relevant subject in order to gain perspective. We are now working on this new project to develop this approach to help people experience understanding through productive dialogue beyond debate.

* I had the honor of reviewing the draft manuscript for my good friend Andy Marin's book called “Love is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community”. I got to offer extensive feedback from my perspective for Andy's consideration as he finalized his book. We'll be working together to tell our stories and hopefully reframe the gay issue within straight conservative evangelical circles.

Listing these projects off like this doesn't do justice for the journey of seeing these things through. What has also not yet been mentioned is the time invested with those team collaborations and also the one-on-one conversations with friends on their own life journey of reconciling faith and sexuality, and not to mention the drama-anxiety-filled-draining-negative discussions with non-friends that make a person just want to quit everything. And of course there's the personal adventures of travel and fun with friends this past year to balance it all out!

It has indeed been a roller coaster. While on vacation in Hawaii, I had one particular jungle adventure that was full of ten life lessons for the journey which I'll share with you now . . . .

I found myself at the top of a tourist spot on the Big Island of Hawaii overlooking a beautiful valley with 2,000 foot walls, a “V” opening up to the ocean. This was an unplanned part of the day. I had been staying at a hostel in Hilo on the east side of the island and my plan was to take the northern route around the island to Kailua-Kona on the west side of the island to do some snorkeling, kayaking, and a luau. On my way, I decided to take the advice from a “local boy” to be sure to check out this valley on the northern tip. Keeping my trip's plans flexible proved to grant me the best adventure of my life – so far.

Life Lesson #1 - Be flexible with the plan.

I think having a plan for life is definitely important but sometimes God is just giving us enough to start moving in the right direction. Along the way, we've got to be willing to be flexible with that plan because our vision for the destination may look entirely different from God's plan.

I have found that God often shows me bits and pieces of a bigger picture. For awhile there, I thought those bits and pieces were the final destination of what God wanted me to do. But when I never saw it happen and God redirected me elsewhere, I felt like I had failed. After this happened several times, I was able to look back in hindsight and see that they weren't failures at all. God never meant for me to experience those mini-visions. They were just enough to get me going in that direction so that I could learn something, and then move on to the next leg of the journey.

I was never meant to be a psychologist. I was never meant to join the U.S. Air Force. I was never meant to be an Amway Diamond Direct distributor. I was never meant to be a career youth leader. I was never meant to be a senior pastor of a church. I was never meant to be a computer programmer. I was never meant to be a house church planter. I was never meant to run operations for Kingdom Causes. I was never meant to stay in the closet. I was never meant to be an ex-gay leader. And I can see that the things I'm doing now in my life with all the current projects aren't necessarily where I am to end up. These have all been legs of the journey preparing me and moving me forward in His direction. And as it unfolds, it just gets more and more exciting! I'm just willing to stay flexible with the plan.

After taking several pictures of the beautiful valley I saw a road that led downward. I wondered where it led to. I initially walked down the road just to find a couple good angles for some camera shots. But as I continued following the road, I eventually found myself getting further and further from the top where my car was. I looked up and saw the windy road I had been on. I had gone this far. I looked forward and saw the lush valley floor. I had to decide whether or not I wanted to continue on or turn back to return to my car and continue the plan to Kona for snorkeling, kayaking and fun.

I kept following the road down and I found myself descending the 2,000 foot valley. I had resolved that what started out as a temporary sight seeing detour was now going to be a short hike. Equipped with shorts, a t-shirt, my ipod, my camera and my Blackberry cell phone, I decided to explore.

Once I reached the valley floor, I wanted to try to make my way to the beach where the surfers were. These were definitely locals who knew of this prime surf beach untold to tourists and visitors. I followed the road and saw lush green foliage and a few scattered un-developed homes. I imagined the kind of lives these people lived – farmers with minimal need for outside technology. I saw a river that flowed through the valley and noticed how some of the homes had little kayaks for residents to traverse the valley. After following the road along the river, I saw a waterfall in the distance. It was located in the heart of the valley tip. I wanted to get some better picture shots of the waterfall so I kept walking inland into the valley instead of towards the beach (and surfers).

I discovered more homes – beautiful and private, away and secluded. Each home had many acres of farm land and the road I was on took me on a nice tour of this Hawaiian farm community within a valley of 2,000 foot walls. Gorgeous!
I kept following the road just trying to get closer to the waterfall. I could see it in the distance but I had no idea how far away it was. And following the road wasn't as easy as I thought because it kept leading me into private homes. I wasn't sure if I was trespassing. But I was exploring and I was on a nice hike appreciating the scenery of this hidden place where few tourists had gone. With my ipod playlist going, I continued onward.

There was a place in the road that had been over run by the river. The only vehicles to pass were large trucks or SUVs with 4 wheel drive. I saw a trail of rocks where I could carefully cross and continued onward. At some point I followed some trails that were actually private driveways. I turned back and tried finding other ways to the waterfall. I then found myself on another rocky and muddy trail. The hike was becoming less residential and more tropical. As I followed this trail, I came across a group riding horses. It was an equestrian tour. I climbed up the bank and watched the horses pass.

I made eye contact with one of the guys and asked him if this trail led to the waterfall. I figured out that he must have been the tour guide. He was cute too. He responded by saying that the only thing up this trail were more farms and homes. Then he looked at me with a smirk and glean in his eye so as to communicate more to me than what he was saying. He told me, “there is no trail to the waterfall. The only way there is to follow the river. But there is no trail to the waterfall.”

I watched them pass and looked at the group enjoying their leisurely horse ride. I was disappointed though. I had decided to find this waterfall and now I was being told that there wasn't a trail to it. I decided to walk back the way I came, figured the hike was over and it was time to go back. It was still fun. I listened to my music and just appreciated the view.

Then I saw a truck approaching me on the road. It slowed as it got closer to me and I got a little worried that I was going to be scolded by one of the land owners for trespassing. It was definitely a local guy. He started to say something to me and I asked him to repeat it as I removed my ear phones.

“Listen to the birds,” he said with a smile.

The moment he said that, I took a look around and saw things differently from before. It was an amazing eye-opening moment. I knew what he meant. I was in a beautiful lush valley surrounded by God's creation and this native Hawaiian was telling me to get rid of my technology and my imported music and to listen, really listen to the beauty that was all around me. The aloha-spirit. Love. I thanked him as he drove away and my spontaneous hike was accented with a new perspective - see things through the locals' eyes.

Life Lesson #2 – Take the time to listen and discern the Lord's voice.

The wonderful experience of “listening to the birds” pointed me to Christ – to take the time to listen again to His voice, His promptings, the nudge and direction of where He wanted me to go. And so instead of hearing my own music, it was a joy to listen to His music. It was a reminder to let go of my plan or my interpretation of the final destination of His vision and to be flexible enough to just watch Him unfold the bigger picture for me in His time. And it's beautiful so far!

As I consider the life goals and plans that I've held over the past 20 years, I can see that every redirect, every change in plans, every detour to something else was marked by the Lord's familiar voice telling me that it was okay. The change is okay. And I learned to go with the flow, to follow the current with all of life's hiccups and to take a step back so that I could see the bigger picture. He trained my eye to see past the seeming failures or unaccomplished tasks and to connect the dots for bigger vision of what He was trying to do. And the biggest thing that came out of this lesson of learning to listen and discern the Lord's voice was trusting that voice. I learned to trust the Lord in the midst of unplanned events.

I walked back along that road, the way I came before and I noticed a parked vehicle at that place where the river over took the road. I remembered seeing the vehicle before when I passed by the first time. But for some reason I paused and began to listen. I remembered how odd it was that the equestrian tour guide looked at me the way he did, with a smirk and glean in his eye telling me that the only way to the waterfall was to follow the river. The only way to the waterfall was to follow the river. Hmm, the only way to the waterfall was to follow the river.

I looked at the parked vehicle and began to wonder where the owners were. This spot wasn't near a house so it wasn't a typical parking space. Then I saw an opening into the jungle. And this is next to the river. I remembered again, “there is no trail to the waterfall. The only way there is to follow the river. But there is no trail to the waterfall.” I had given up on finding the waterfall and was heading back but here was another chance to get there – an opening in the jungle.
There was no trail to the waterfall. But following the river leads to it. So I entered the jungle and trail blazed my own way. All I had to do was follow the river.

Life Lesson #3 – If it seems there is no way, create one.

Being a bridge builder can be discouraging. There are times when I want to give up because there are few willing to cross the barrier of conflict and disagreement to attempt to forge peace. The reality of the times we live in is evident – the issue of homosexuality and gay people is dividing the Church and the State. There are major denominations splitting over this issue. There are churches splitting over this issue – even disassociating from their own denomination triggering battles over property rights. There are families splitting over this issue. And our communities are polarized over the fight to preserve a traditional definition of the marriage institution and the fight to preserve or reclaim constitutional civil rights for equal dignity and respect. All the while in the middle of this fight are individuals who care nothing about definitions or institutions or civil rights and are simply trying to battle against their own self-identity and figuring out how to love themselves in a way that gives them a reason not to carry out their thoughts of suicide.

I'll say it often – this war must end.

I'll often talk to a pastor from both “sides” wishing me luck because the tension seems too great for any kind of bridge building. There are people mobilizing and organizing within their own cohorts but few are attempting a broad strategy for peace between the two groups.

I suppose I'm determined to find a way regardless of the skepticism. Someone has got to blaze a new trail towards peace – one motivated not politically but by the common grace that we all enjoy from Christ. Fortunately, I'm not the only one. There are others who share this same heart and together we will pioneer efforts to be the peace-makers God has called us to be – even within His own Church.

Where there is no way, we'll make one. Where there is no space for gay and straight Christians to interact beyond the lens of sin/not sin, we'll make one. Where there is no terminology for bridge building language and a context for these “Journey Christians”, we'll create them. We just have to follow the River. It will take us to Christ.

I'll admit that I didn't quite realize what finding my way to this waterfall would require of me. I began to walk through what looked more like a tropical forest than a jungle as I weaved through tall trees that covered the sun's rays along with mossy rocks and the wet damp ground covered in vines or leaves. It was dark from the shade and the air was moist. To my left was the river with water flowing towards the ocean behind me. I proceeded through this jungle forest climbing over fallen trees and large boulders in my path. This moist environment was a rich climate for moss to grow every where.

I reached a point on my side of the river where I couldn't find a way through. I had to try to cross the river to the other side where it looked like there was a path ahead. At this point the river current had increased and the width was larger than from the beginning. From where I was, I had to climb down the river bank to get to the water and in the process I slid through the muddy side full of plants, vines and rocks.

I was keenly aware of what I had in my pockets – my camera, my ipod, and my Blackberry cell phone – all items I did not want to get wet. I found a place in the river to cross along some rocks. If I could keep my balance, then I could get to the other side still dry. I began to cross carefully as the sound of the rushing water surrounded me. I reached a point half way across the river when I slipped off a rock and barely caught myself before falling completely in the river. But by this time, I was shin deep in cold water and it would have been too slippery for me to try to get back onto the rocks above water. So I began to walk through the water quickly until I got to the other side.

I had crossed the river and I was most glad about the fact that my electronic valuables remained dry. So now I'm to the left of the river continuing forward towards the waterfall hiking deeper into this jungle valley. I continued forward along what looked like a trail but was more than likely just the path the rain water once took. It had to have been about an hour of hiking since first entering that jungle opening at the road. I was having a lot of fun hiking and enjoying the journey. It was an amazing experience!

On this side of the river, it looked much different from the other. It looked like there were more paths here and I saw barbed wire fences and No Trespassing signs. I realized that I was on private property. I was hiking through someone's back yard jungle. By the way, an amazing back yard! But how would I explain my presence on their land? I continued hiking quietly through the various paths I could find and every time it looked like the path had ended, I explored around to find another way through.

Then I reached a place where the river had a bit of a rock dam. There was no path forward on either side of the river. There was just a pool of water. I looked further up beyond the pool on the other side and it looked like there was a path to keep going but in order to get there I'd have to swim. That wasn't exactly what I was prepared to do. I had my electronic gadgets which I wasn't willing to allow to get wet. At most, my shoes and socks were wet but all in all it had already been a fun hike. I stood on a boulder looking at the pool of water, then I looked behind me then I looked back and forth trying to decide what to do.

I had reached a go-no-further point on the journey.

I began to walk back on the path I had just been on still thinking, still considering my options. I had been hiking for over an hour one way and it was mid day. I hadn't had breakfast or lunch. The original plan was to make a stop at this valley lookout on the way to Kailua-Kona, take some photos, get some brunch, then go on to Kona for snorkeling and kayaking. I may be a few hours behind schedule but I could still head back out of the valley and up the road to the car and continue on. But there was something very unsatisfying about not making it to the waterfall. I had gone this far. I had trekked through a tropical forest with moss-covered trees and boulders and vines. I had crossed the river and soaked my shoes and socks. I was on an amazing hike and I wasn't sure if I felt like it was finished until I could capture a photograph of this elusive waterfall.

I had still been thinking through these things as I was already walking back along the path. Then I reached this sweet spot where the sun shone through the trees illuminating the yellow leaves. It was bright and golden peppered through the shade of the trees.

And it was at this moment when I saw the unexpected.

Hiking toward me on this path was a super cute hot buck-naked guy with blond hair and golden tan brown skin. I was in shock and speechless. I couldn't tell you if I had a grin or if my jaw had dropped to the ground or if my mouth was sealed shut. I just couldn't believe my eyes. Talk about random! He approached me and I might have muttered a hello through my crackling voice. My heart was racing a million beats per millisecond as he stopped to say hello too. To my surprise, rather than exchanging greetings while passing, we carried on a conversation. Here we are in the middle of a Hawaiian jungle forest with no one around and I'm having a casual friendly conversation with a super cute hot buck-naked blond haired golden skinned adonis with amazingly toned 0% body fat and swimmer or surfer's build. It took absolutely every bit of strength and energy in my entire being to keep my eyes focused on his eyes. Keep eye contact. Don't let him catch me looking down. Don't do it. No, don't do it. Keep my eyes on his beautiful green eyes and perfect lips and amazing nose and long slender neck and his broad shoulders and then his golden pecks and his nipples and his chiseled abdomen that led further down to . . . . omg, eye contact! Keep eye contact! Keep looking in his eyes! Those beautiful eyes and those . . . .

Sigh.

Seriously. I was going to have a heart attack. On the outside, I think I played it cool and casual as I talked with him. But my wandering eyes found every excuse to capture and record every visual detail of his body. Whether you are a gay or straight man, this was a guy that you had to acknowledge was an extremely good looking guy. If you're straight, he was handsome. If you're gay, he was freaking hot!

Sigh.

The golden tan skin of this guy's smooth body just glistened in the light as the sun's rays accentuated the blond hair not just on his head but also the perfectly yet lightly distributed strands of hair on his arms and on his legs, his triceps and his thighs, his biceps and his calves, and the southward trail along the center of his abdomen beneath his cute belly button. Can belly buttons be considered cute? His was. You could feel a slight comfortable breeze as it caused the perfectly and strategically positioned blond hair strands on his body flicker and dance. He was cleanly shaven and had a bright adventurous smile.

He was from North Carolina in Hawaii for a vacation. He asked about the trail ahead, where I had just been, and I told him that I had been trekking through and crossing the river at several points and I finally got to that point ahead where I could go no further without getting wet. I told him that I was not prepared to swim and in fact wasn't even planning to go on this hike (that led me to you, I wanted to say!). He told me that he had heard about this waterfall and that the only way to get there was to swim. So he decided to come out here into the jungle and “go all out”. We laughed together as I used it as a blessed opportunity to fully look him up and down and center as I joked with him, “well you certainly ARE going ALL OUT!”

He grinned the cutest grin.

I've no idea how long were those moments we shared for our friendly conversation. Time was irrelevant. He was ready to proceed on his own journey and we began to say our good byes as he walked past me. One final good bye and a wave from he and I, he turned around exposing his back side as he continued his hike toward the waterfall.

I know, I know. I know exactly what some of YOU out there are reading and thinking right now – your “but's” and “what if's” and “did he” and “did you” and all those questions and scenarios that are running through your imagination. All I can say is that I have them too. Believe me.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, life lessons.

So in that amazing unexpected random experience with super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy, there was one thing that he said that began to haunt me as I was still on the path back.

“I came to go all out,” he said.

I wrestled with that statement. I repeated it over and over and over in my head. Then I literally found myself taking several steps forward, then turning around and taking several steps back, then turning around and taking steps forward, then back then forward then back. I was having the ultimate moment of indecision. What should I do? Do I go back or do I keep going to the waterfall?

I figured that I could at least check to see if super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy made it across. Ooh, there he is. Yep he was crossing. Yep he swam. Yep he made it. Yep he was exiting the water. Yep he was climbing the rocks out of the water. Yep he was gorgeous. Yep he found a path to proceed forward up the river on the other side. Grin.

Okay, so he did it.

I found myself at the rocks needing to make a choice. Again, his statement haunted me. “I came to go all out.” And he did. He came to this island ready for an adventure. He took off all of his clothes except for his shoes, began hiking buck naked unashamedly through this jungle, got to the pool of water and swam across to continue onward.

“I came to go all out.” And all I could say was . . . “me too.”

I've come all this way. I came to Hawaii for adventures. I came for memories. I came to experience new things. And for the first five days on the islands, I've been having an amazing time. So here I am on my sixth day, and I'm ready to go all out.

So I stood there on a large boulder, looked all around and verified that there was no one in sight. I took off my shirt and lay it flat on the rock. I placed everything in my pockets on it. I put my Blackberry cell phone, my camera, my ipod, my car keys, and my sun glasses there on my shirt. Then with one deep breath and a grin, I took off my shorts and my boxers and my socks and my shoes, and I wrapped everything in my shirt in a bundle.

And there I was. Buck naked. Going all out.

Life Lesson #4 – Be willing to “go all out” and take some risks.

I'm learning that through all the talk about the journey and the adventure and the bridge building and the vision casting, I have to be willing to walk the talk. I have to be willing to do whatever it takes to keep moving toward the metaphorical waterfall. There will be others willing to go further than I may be prepared to go and that will force me to make a choice. Either keep going to see it through or not be the one that sees the promised land.

The journey of bridge building requires tons of humility. There are people freely willing to give me their unsolicited opinion that a bridge between such hostile groups – the stereotypical evangelical fundamentalists and the militant gays – can never happen (as if those are the groups I'm reaching out to). There are people who make assumptions without knowing my approach or who I'm trying to reach or even the vision of what I'm hoping to do. In building relationships, I have to set aside much of my pride to listen to people's stories without taking it personally. I have to be willing to share my story of reconciling my faith and sexuality in a way that people can hear – to hopefully stir empathy rather than guilt. And in conflict, I have to be willing to apologize when I've done wrong and to forgive when an apology is being offered and even to not take responsibility for things that I ought not to. It has required courage and transparency.

It's like feeling naked.

But there is a level of risk that I have to be willing to take in order to press forward towards building relationship. If I can show what authenticity and transparency looks like, then perhaps the person I'm hoping to connect with will do the same. If I have to take some risks to build positive relationships, then I'm willing to go all out.

It's not just about removing our metaphorical clothing. Because when someone does that, it also means his or her wall is being removed too. And if the walls can come down, then we can see each other with humility and begin to interact and explore how we can meet each other's needs.

So I was ready to cross the river again through the pool of water. It didn't look all that deep. If super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy could do it, then I could do it. Barefoot and naked with my bundle of clothing and electronic valuables tightly held together in my left hand above the water, I began to walk across this pool. The bottom of the river pool was slippery and kinda slimy. The water was crisp and freezing as I felt it all around my unprotected body. I walked slowly as the water that was at my knees began to rise the further I walked across. Soon I was neck deep in the water and after several steps I assumed that that was as deep as it'd get. Then with one more step forward the pool's floor was gone and I suddenly sunk with my head beneath the water. I panicked and quickly began kicking my feet to resurface and more importantly to extend my arm with bundle of clothes and electronics above the water. It had already gotten wet as I was treading water to stay up and I felt that I had lost my eye glasses.

I know, why the heck didn't I take off my eye glasses?

I quickly swam across the pool as fast as I could to try to get up on the rocks. There wasn't time to go back in search of my glasses. I figured that if I could dry off my electronics, then they wouldn't be completely lost. I got to the rocks but couldn't find a way up out of the pool. I managed to set my bundle of items onto a rock so that I could have the use of both my hands to climb out of the water.

So there I was, buck naked and freezing, climbing a rock with wet hands and searching for stable footing. Then I finally managed to get up onto the rock boulders so that I could inspect my tech. Fortunately, everything functioned properly without a problem.

Whew!

Oh yeah, I was still naked. So I put on my shorts and my shoes. I figured that I may need to swim again so I should probably keep the boxers safe and dry in the bundle.

The feeling was exhilarating though! After oscillating back and forth about whether or not to go or not go, to go all out or not, to go buck naked or not, I finally did it. I skinny dipped for the first time in my life! I had gone so far on this journey and I had just crossed a major obstacle. I was excited to continue forward and to take a photo of this waterfall as evidence and prize. (Plus there was the incentive of seeing super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy again, perhaps alone at the waterfall.) Grin.

After passing the pool, it seemed that the journey got even more difficult. I had no idea where I was. I had no idea where super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy was or the path he had taken. If I was following him sooner and more closely, then I could see the paths he was taking. But too much time had passed and he had to be way ahead of me. So I was on my own still, trying to find a way through where there was no existing trail.
I looked all around and it didn't seem like there was a reasonable way forward. I tried to hike up the steep hill through trees and loose dirt. But I couldn't get any further. I had my bundle in my left hand, I was wearing only my shorts and shoes, and I had only one hand to hold on to things. I found myself climbing and sliding down and climbing and sliding down and then falling down and slipping all the way down. I had dirt in my shoes and on my shorts and on my wet body and even dirt in my mouth as I did everything I could to get through. I considered turning back and found myself back at the rocks by the pool I had formerly overcome. I realized that if I turned back, I would again have to swim across that pool again.

I didn't want to quit. So I had to try another path through the unreasonable way forward. After wandering around and wondering how the heck super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy was able to get through, I finally found myself through the clearing and again at the river water at some large boulders.

I had to climb from boulder to boulder and at some point it was quite slippery. Having only a single free hand to hold on and find my grip made it particularly challenging. After trying and slipping and not being able to get through these boulders, I had considered turning back. It was taking me awhile and I couldn't get through. Then I came to a realization. I can't get through because I only have one arm to work with. If I wanted to keep going, then I had to abandon my bundle of clothing and electronic valuables so that I could have both arms free. I was going to get wet again, I was sure of it, so I knew I couldn't keep anything in my shorts pockets.

But this bundle included the rest of my clothes, my Blackberry cell phone, my camera, my rented car keys, my ipod. I didn't want to lose any of these things. What if someone came along and took them or what if I couldn't find them again on the way back? What if I needed to call for help? What if it got cold and I needed a shirt? What if I got to the waterfall and needed to take a photo? Oh no! I wouldn't be able to take a photo of the waterfall! That was kinda the point of all this! This all started because I saw the waterfall in the distance and just wanted to get closer to get a better picture shot. And here I am, having gone this far, so that I could take a close up photo at the base of the waterfall. LOL, I'd have no pic to share on my blog! Gasp!

I was at another go-no-further point on the journey.

I could either turn back with all of my belongings or I could abandon everything I had, literally, in order to get to the waterfall. I had to “listen to the birds.”

I decided to let go of the idea of having a photo and the evidence documenting this adventure. I came to go all out. I came to experience the journey. I didn't come to live through the camera lens or through the blog. I didn't come to experience an adventure for the sake of telling the tale. I came to experience an adventure worth telling!
So I abandoned my camera, my Blackberry cell phone, my ipod, my rented car keys, and my clothes.

Life Lesson #5 – Be willing to abandon non-essentials when necessary.

I think that sometimes we can find ourselves on a journey and miss the point of why we're out here. The destination gives us a reason and a direction but I think it's the experience of living it that is God's blessing.

In 2005 when I began to explore the tension between my faith and sexuality, I didn't know where I'd end up. In the beginning I hoped that I would come full circle to realize that being gay is a sin and that this was a belief that I could own and live out. But along the way, I experienced unexpected blessings and realizations that ultimately led to a very different place of reconciling my faith and sexuality. I wasn't simply on a so-called journey so that I could “say” I did everything I could to expose myself to the horrible gay world and now I was safe back in the arms of the church where I could bear witness and testimony to such dark and dangerous temptations.
No, I was on a journey to explore God's heart for gay people so that I could possibly own it for myself. The destination wasn't a simple conclusion or an answer about a controversial issue that leads many of us to colliding paradigms. For me, it wasn't about “Yes, now I know that being gay is okay!” or even “Finally, now I know that being gay is not okay!” No, for me it was about the actual journey. And so truly being on a journey means being willing to abandon my preconceived notions and pictures of what the destination looks like or rather, what I want it to look like.
This kind of a journey is one that follows Christ, literally. My only desire is for God to reveal to me His heart. And what ever He shows me, I have to apply that to my life in what ever way that I could. If that means that I have to abandon the notion of being an ex-gay leader who could tell the tale of overcoming my same sex attractions, then so be it. God showed me His heart for gay people – it is of love. I had to abandon my pride and the pride of my former assumptions about this issue and if I wanted to truly follow after God's heart on this journey, then I had to be willing to see through a new lens of love unconditional.
Just as God revealed to Peter that salvation has come to the Gentiles, so He is revealing to many of us that salvation has come to the gays. And equally, the Jew and the Gentile and the straight and the gay, are all called to love properly – and that translates into a lifestyle of faith. For the Jew and the Gentile, we are all called to worship the One true God. For the straight and the gay, we are all called to the same sexual integrity – to love healthy and safely and faithfully. This is an all inclusive non-discriminatory call to love God and to love others better than we had been before Christ.
Neither being gay or straight is part of the salvation equation. Christ alone – saved by grace through faith. We are all sinners. We have all been redeemed. We are all called to love better. I believe that God is calling us back to the basics of our faith. And all the secondary non-salvation issues of which we may disagree upon, is subject to the command to love one another. It's okay that we may disagree. But we must abandon the idea of disowning one another on the basis of non-salvation matters.
You see, I'm not talking about us trying to “agree to disagree.” I'm talking about us trying to “agree to love despite how we disagree.”
I decided to leave my possessions behind so that I could proceed onward. I found a spot near some rocks behind one of the boulders and hid my bundle. Then I stood on the boulder wearing only my shorts and wet shoes and having both hands free.
It was a liberating feeling actually. There was nothing tying me down, nothing handicapping me with only a single arm to work with. I was free to continue on to find the waterfall. I had come a long way. I've gone naked. I've left behind everything. I've even lost my glasses. I've gotten wet. I've gotten dirty. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to that waterfall!
Except maybe getting lost again.
I proceeded across the river, past the big boulders and made it to the other side again. I had no hesitation from jumping on to large boulders. I had no hesitation from walking through the water. There were times when I'd try crossing only to slip and be swept away by the current only to hold on to the nearest rock or branch while horizontal in the water. But once I got to one side of the river or the other, I just kept searching for a way through.
But I reached another point where it was difficult to figure out where to go. I was hungry. I was disoriented because I had no eye glasses or contact lenses. I tried climbing up the steep hill grabbing onto vines. I climbed over fallen trees. I climbed onto large boulders. I was literally climbing an almost vertical incline using what ever was in front of me, around me, near me to find a footing or to find a grip, anything that I could use to carry my weight and lift myself up to the next ledge.
I fell numerous times. There were times when I grabbed onto a branch with all my weight only to fall when the branch snapped. There were times when I leaped towards a ledge only to fall short and barely catch a branch with a single hand. There were times when I slipped off the moss of a boulder and frantically scraped my finger tips along the slippery rock to save myself only to fail and slip further onto the rocks beneath me. There were times when I was literally hanging on for dear life.
It was dangerous!
I began to hate that frickin waterfall! I even forgot about the waterfall at times. All I wanted to do was get out of this jungle. I was stuck. I couldn't go forward because there was no way. I tried to go vertical but it was dangerous and only seemed to lead further away from the river. I was scraped and bruised and dirty and hungry and almost blind. I seriously feared for my life! I tried to be as careful as possible but all I could think of was how falling through those boulders down there could break my leg or how slipping without landing on my feet could make me hit my head. I could get seriously injured and I wouldn't be able to get out on my own. I could die and no one would find me. I was very far away from the river so I was out of view from it.
I could only wonder how in the world did super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy make it through this jungle. I didn't see it. My only consolation was the fantasy of getting hurt and having him rescue me.
Grin + Sigh.
I considered giving up and turning back numerous times. But most of those times, I couldn't go back if I wanted to because I couldn't figure out where I was or how to get back closer to the river. But every time I seriously thought of quitting, I seemed to make it through just a little further. And while I often got lost and couldn't figure out how to get through, I discovered that I got through. I wasn't sure how. But it was also very frustrating because it seemed like every time I found a path to follow, I'd always seem to deviate from the path and get lost until I found my way back to the path.
It was a constant roller coaster of joy and frustration of finding a way through then getting lost yet again. I laughed at myself. I whimpered and whined for myself. I was mad at myself. I was proud of myself.
Then I looked up and saw a couple climbing through towards me. They actually startled me! I looked at them and yelled in celebration my greetings and salutations, “boy am I glad to see you two!” It was a guy and a gal who had been to the waterfall and were on their way back. I explained that I had been trying my hardest to figure out how to get through.
They understood clearly and offered some encouragement. “It's okay, we were just there. There is a way there, just follow the way we just came. Keep going though. It's totally worth it once you get there!”
Boy, that was exactly what I needed to hear!
Life Lesson # 6 – Find encouragement in those who have done it before.
I was serious about wanting to give up. I wavered in my desire to find this waterfall. I didn't want it badly enough anymore because frankly I just was trying to survive. But this couple told me what I needed to hear – there is a way; it is worth it.
There were times when I hated being a bridge builder. I'm just as mad and hurt as others on the one side. During some of our Coalition of Bridge Builder meetings to discuss the Church and specifically the conservative/traditional church leaders, I'll admit that I was very scared. For the past couple years of reconciling my faith and sexuality, I surrounded myself around supportive people. I had left those former relationships that I had in the straight conservative evangelical circles and I wasn't exactly sure if I was ready to be in the same room as people like them – or even some of those same people that hurt me. I was terrified at the thought of one particular pastor who was patronizing and condescending to me when I was stepping down from Kingdom Causes, an organization that I helped co-found, that he may possibly be at one of these preliminary events to allow conservative church leaders to talk about this issue. Could I be in the same room as he was? Would I be too angry? Would I be too hurt? Would he make me feel like a spiritual kindergartener like he did before?
I found that I may not have been as emotionally prepared to engage in these conversations as I thought I was. I could have easily used this as a reason or excuse to check out. However, it was my fellow bridge builders who talked me through things and let me know that I was safe. Our goal was to facilitate the safe and productive dialogue within the Church but for starters, each of us had to feel safe as well. I may not have been emotionally prepared but it was these friends that helped prepare me.
In many of my conversations with individuals on their own journey of reconciling their faith and sexuality, I've had the honor of being trusted with their openness. Their journey and questions were all too familiar because I had been where they are. The best I could do was to offer encouragement to them that the Lord loves them no matter what in the place that they are at now. I think that's the best that any of us can do, really – to remind each other that God loves us no matter what circumstances we are having along the journey. The conclusion or answers about being gay is less relevant to knowing without a doubt that God loves us where we are at.
That encouragement alone is enough to keep us moving forward.
I found out yesterday that a friend of mine committed suicide this past June. She was in Long Beach probably nearby. I grieve wishing that I would have known that she was in town, hurting, and that I could have been able to be with her to let her know that God loves her and that I do as well. She must have felt so alone that night. She hung herself.
On the journey of our lives, we just need to know that we are not alone, and that no matter how hard it seems to find a clear path, there are others who have been there before and have made it through.
If you've read this far, I hope you can begin to understand why I feel that the Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community for both gay and straight Journey Christians is so important. Please find your place there and be intentional about encouraging others on this journey. We need each other.
The couple in the jungle were a God-send. In addition to telling me that there was a way through to the waterfall and that it is worth it once I get there, they also told me that there were yet others who made it. I asked if there were very many people at the waterfall (because what I really wanted to know was whether or not super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy was there). They told me that there were five people at the waterfall when they left. And yes, there was a naked guy there too. Grin.
Incentive.
I thanked them and we said our good byes and well wishes as I was excited again to progress onward to the waterfall.
You'd figure that following a path that others had been on would be easy. For awhile there, I did just fine following the path with the river to my right side. But it had been several hours of hiking and climbing and trudging and wandering along. I was starving and dizzy and disoriented. Even after getting to the waterfall, I'd still have to make the long journey back before being able to eat again.
It was easy for me to get lost again. The path wasn't clearly obvious and if I was supposed to have crossed the river at any point, I missed it. I was wandering around, up the steep hill again or down back closer to the river trying to figure out a way through. I didn't understand how I could get lost when the couple had been through here. Which way did they come and how did they do it? I wasn't sure!
Startled once again, I came across four ladies who were on their way back. Boy was I relieved! Seeing them meant that I was on the right path again. It was encouraging to know that they had been there. These ladies were quite friendly and enthusiastic. They were three older ladies guided by a younger gal. They were joyful because they had just seen the waterfall. They reported about how amazing it was and encouraged me with a “if WE could do it, then YOU could do it!”
We laughed and joked for a bit.
Then without me mentioning my starvation or dehydration, one of them offered me some water. I quickly and thankfully accepted the water. They also offered me some granola bars and a tangerine. Thank you, Lord! I accepted those as well and was very happy to have had something to replenish my energy.
Life Lesson #7 – God will provide for your needs along the journey through others on the journey.
With all of the various kinds of people that I've met over the past several years, it'd be surprising to some to hear me describe myself as an introvert. I'm always around people and I'm always trying to help others find a point of connection with others but socially it's much more natural for me to be content talking with a single person at a party. Being outgoing is more intentional of anything.
But with the work that I do, I'm often left feeling like I have needs to be met as well. It's not realistic for me to have close personal relationships with a hundred people nor is it realistic for me to maintain regular and daily contact with numerous people. So I've kept an inner circle of close friends that I can be comfortable with, be inspired by, and be safely vulnerable.
Much like Jesus' inner circle of the Twelve and even His inner inner circle of three closer ones, I've found incredible blessing in my close personal friends that I've been able to have fun with, bounce ideas off of, and practice with. These are those that I've been able to let my guard down with and consequently be transparent with. I can be imperfect with them. Though I haven't been in an intimate romantic relationship yet, the Lord has provided for my need to not be alone through these blessed friends of mine. They are a gift and I love them all!
Well if you've done the math as I have, five people at the waterfall when the couple left minus these four ladies equals one super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy still left at the waterfall. Grin.
So I pressed onward after thanking the ladies and tried to follow closely the path that they had been on. I did pretty well for the most part but as was consistent with my tendency to get off trail, I found myself again wandering around. What the heck!? What's the deal here? Why isn't this as easy as it seems for all these other people that I'm coming in contact with? Is it because I'm trekking here alone while they have each other to figure it out together? And yet, super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy didn't seem to have any problems doing this.
I wasn't giving up this time though. I was frustrated, sure, but I kept thinking about the waterfall and I kept thinking about super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy. I eventually found my path and tried to hike quicker and quicker to get to the waterfall. I just knew I had to be close.
And that's when it happened.
Super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy was passing by on the other side of the river.
Sigh. I know, what a let down!
So I hollered over to him to let him know that I decided to continue on after all and he was happy to see that I did. I asked him how much farther it was and how to get through. Honestly, I wanted him to spend some time helping me. But he was far off on the other side of the river and we were yelling just to hear each other. He told me to cross the river and that I'd find a path to the waterfall. Then he continued along his return trip.
As I watched him hike along the other side of the river, I'll admit that I considered following him. And I had to reassess what it was that I was out there for. I had been walking back when I first met him. Did I decide to continue forward because of him? Was I trying to follow him? Or did I really want to find this waterfall? Did I just want to have another conversation with him? He was quite tempting.
I found myself reassessing my motives.
But at the end of it all, I wasn't just trying to follow super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy. Seeing him again was a hope that I had, yes I can admit that. But deep down, the waterfall represented something to me. It wasn't just about a waterfall because I'm completely sure that there are much grander waterfalls in the world – I've seen pictures! But this was the one that I could see with my own eyes. Not through a picture and not through someone else's story but with my own eyes I could see and hear and smell and experience this wonder personally.
The journey was my own. And I was going to see it through.
Life Lesson #8 – Reassess your motives and be honest with yourself.
Why am I on the journey of my life? Why did I want to reconcile my faith and sexuality? Was I simply looking for any reason to say that it was okay to be gay and Christian and so any reason was a good reason? Would that really be reconciling my faith and sexuality or would that be compromising my faith and sexuality?
I think it's important to ask ourselves the right questions. It's easy to be in denial about our motives and to imagine a more pure version of our real motives. When I was trying to figure it all out for myself, I came in contact with “gay Christians” that just said simply “God wants me to be happy” and that was enough for them. I'm not commenting on their journey. But for my own journey, that wasn't enough. I know that God wants me to be happy but I also know that God wants me to be safe. The Lord is my God, not my genie. So I wanted to genuinely see God's heart and intent about this gay issue and I was willing to follow Him based on whatever He revealed to me. If he showed me that it was wrong, then I was prepared to live that out regardless of my own flesh's desire.
If he showed me that it was okay to be gay and Christian, then I could have rejected it and chosen to cling to my traditionally held perspective that it was wrong. I used to teach against it. I used to counsel others to get help with their same sex attractions. I used to pray against the homosexuals in my community. I had been part of ex-gay programs and I agreed with them. But I've also been a Christian since I was 16 years old. I'm a mature enough Christian to be able to genuinely communicate with the Lord and distinguish His voice from my own thoughts. So when I realized that He was revealing His love and acceptance for gay people, I could have rejected it and clung to my pride and tradition.
But at the core I knew that my desire was to follow Him where ever He was leading – even if it was to show me a people that He loved that I formerly saw as “unclean”. So if God were making these unclean gay people to be clean to Him, then I wanted to see how and why. If He wanted to shift my paradigm, then I was going to let Him, if it meant grasping the lesson, the insight, the revelation that He was offering me. In order to do so, I had to abandon the lens in which I saw these gay people before and I had to put on the lens of love that God was seeing through. Once I saw how God loved us all equally, inclusively, and without discriminatory favor, it became clear to me that God wasn't calling for a change in sexual orientation for some but instead He was calling all of us to a change of character which includes sexual integrity for any of our contexts – straight or gay.
That is how I reconciled my faith and sexuality. But I had to be honest with my motives and be willing to go where the journey was leading me.
I had decided to continue onward to the waterfall. I knew that no one was there. Super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy was no longer in the picture. I was no longer distracted by the thought of him at the waterfall. I was hiking towards something real and pure. It would represent the culmination of lessons learned through never giving up, never turning back, never abandoning the journey.
The sound of the rushing water got louder and louder. I crossed the river as was suggested and I found that the path was simpler. I climbed over rocks. I walked through water. I leaped over waterways and ditches. I zig-zagged through trees and tall plants and the roaring water called out to me that I was getting closer and closer. I hiked faster and faster almost jogging. I was still careful not to injure myself. I looked up and saw the waterfall falling and I knew I was so close. So close. So close. And as I made one final turn around a rather large mound of land, I saw it.
The waterfall.
It was glorious! It stood in front of me falling 2,000 feet and I was surrounded by the massive green walls. With the land mound behind me I was completely secluded. It was just me and the waterfall. And after taking it all in for several first moments, there was one thing that I wanted to do.
I got naked.
I stripped off my shorts and my shoes and I ran into the cold chilled water. I waded and jumped and flung my arms and yelped and screamed my woo hoo's and felt completely free as I could feel no barriers between my body and the fresh cold water just freely fallen from above. It was an amazing fresh pool at the base of this waterfall. And knowing that I had no camera to document this amazing experience or no cell phone to call anyone to report what was happening and no facebook to update my status and no ipod to drown nature's music, I stood still there in the pool underneath the waterfall, buck naked with both arms widely extended with my head facing up and eyes wide open so that I could fully embrace and lock into memory every sight and color of white and blue and green all around me, every sound of falling water, every smell of fresh water and plant life, every taste of mist that hovered over the pool, and every feel and tingle of the cold water and the cool breeze from the waterfall on my body – I took in everything that I was experiencing. I remembered the journey of getting here – the wandering around, the hike through the jungle, the falls and slips, the crossing of the river, the fear, the hunger, the exhilaration, and the friendly folks along the way.
It was the greatest adventure of my life!
And while I hadn't originally planned to embark on this journey, I was intentional about staying on this journey. I came to this waterfall on purpose.
And I knew that the journey to get here, indeed, was worth it.
Life Lesson #9 – Take the time to experience the moment.
It wasn't just about seeing this new environment. It was about taking it all in – the sights, the sounds, the smells – the reality that the place I was at in the world was a blessing. This was my time to appreciate, to experience the blessing of where God had placed me at that moment in my life.
Most of my 20's was marked by dreaming. I read books and saw pictures and I talked with friends about the things we would do. But nothing ever came of any of it. Perhaps because I found every excuse not to live. I'm busy at work. People need me here. I'm serving at church. I don't have any money. I don't have the time.
I was all talk.
And I hated the fact that everything about my life seemed academic. While the struggle through my same sex attractions at the time was very real, my response to it was purely academic. I had no real life frame of reference for which the Lord could really, REALLY speak to me. I had the pastor's sermon. I had the sermon's on tape. I had the casual comments and jokes from other people. And I had the two-dimensional unhealthy parts of the internet. All of my exposure to anything remotely related to my same sex attractions was completely academic.
So how could I really sort through the tension and the collision of my worlds when I wasn't really in a place where I could hear the Lord wholly – where I could “listen to the birds” outside. I was in my room, the closet, isolated from anything really real. The church bubble and the classroom laboratory taught me about life but it hadn't taught me about living.
It was when I chose to be intentional about living and experiencing life firsthand did I finally begin to see and listen to what God was showing me. That was when I could truly humble myself and let go of the arrogance of my assumptions. He expanded my view of the world as I was seeing it with my own eyes and I could begin to see through His eyes the way He loves and the way He wants me to love. I began to be intentional about relationships and that transformed the way I saw people. I began to be intentional about travel and to see the world and how God interacted with it and that transformed the way I saw Church. I began to see the good and the bad of both gay and straight relationships and that transformed the way I saw intimacy.
The Lord showed me how to experience the moment so that I could find value in the journey. It wasn't just about the destination. It was about every singular moment experienced to get there. And the key thing for me was that He wasn't done teaching me. The waterfall wasn't the end of the journey nor the end of the lessons. The waterfall began as a destination but it became just another milestone along the continuing journey of my life.
It's never over. Until it's over. And even then, it's not over.
After fully experiencing all I could at this waterfall, I knew that it was time to make the return trip back. It had taken me several hours just to get there. And while I had given up on the idea of spending the day snorkeling and kayaking in Kailua-Kona, I wanted to at least be able to make it there in time for the evening luau that I pre-paid $85 bucks for. So I decided to head back with a brisk hike.
It seemed simple enough at the beginning of the return hike. I was just back tracking where I had already been. I followed this path. Then I switched to that path. Then I jumped over this ditch. And I climbed over that rock. And here is where I walked through the water. And I crossed the river here. Then I went up over that fallen tree. And here's that other path.
Before I knew it, I saw people in the distance and the last person showed lots of skin. Ooh! I got excited. It looked like I caught up to super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy who must have also caught up to the ladies. So I hiked even faster because oh how wonderful would it be to hike behind super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy for the rest of the way back! Yay and hooray! I hiked faster.
As I got closer I realized that all that skin that I was seeing from a distance wasn't super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy. It was actually one of the older ladies in a bathing suit.
D'oh!
I cursed my lost eye glasses now laying at the bottom of that pool.
But it still turned out to be a blessing because I felt much more comfortable being in a group for the return trip back because that meant I was less likely to get lost again. That was my main fear because I didn't want to waste more time wandering around needlessly.
After greeting the ladies again, I shared with them about the amazing experience I had at the waterfall and they all concurred as to it's beauty. My experience was unique from theirs in that the journey that I had to get there was different from theirs. I learned that the younger gal was a guide for the three older ladies. She had been to that waterfall six times before. So she knew exactly where to go and where to turn.
I asked if it would be okay if I stayed with them on the way back and they happily agreed to have my company. It was really fun actually because I got to get to know them better. The three older ladies were flight attendants and they lived there on the Big Island of Hawaii. They all had husbands, some retired and some still working. The younger gal was related to one of the ladies.
I found it refreshing to hear the ladies talk positively about Barack Obama – senator and candidate at the time. I had heard lots of McCain support since being on the islands, particularly from my dad who lived there. So I loved what these ladies had to say about Obama because I shared their sentiment for him. We all agreed that his ability to inspire was precisely what our nation needed right now.
We even laughed about super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy and how they were all surprised when they saw him but not quite as shocked as he was upon seeing these older ladies. He may have been extremely comfortable being full-monty in front of me *blush* but he appeared quite nervous being nude in front of the grandmas. They laughed about how they saw him naked the first time but then he apparently put on his clothes before passing them on the return trip.
How funny! And how cute!
There was one point where I happened to be in the front of the group and after seeing two paths, I instinctively took the path to the right. The younger gal with the experience advised me to go the other way. I personally was pretty confident of the path I originally chose but I deferred to her experience and followed them down the path to the left.
Then we reached a point of crossing the river. And when I looked across to the other side, I saw my bundle of clothes and electronic valuables. I got excited and told everyone that I had found my belongings! I also realized and commented that had I gone done that other path I would have completely missed out on retrieving my abandoned items. Boy, was I glad I was humble enough to accept the younger gal's correction!
We crossed the river at a point that had a fairly strong current. We slowly made our way across single file neck deep in water. One of the ladies almost got swept away! It was clear though that they all came prepared. They had back packs. They had bathing suits. They had those waterproof shoes that are typically worn for rocky beaches. And they had zip lock bags protecting all of their cell phones and cameras. What great ideas!
For the rest of the journey back, there were several moments where we helped each other. One of the ladies kept my bundle of items in her back pack. I helped lower one of the ladies into the pool where I lost my glasses. I'd grab one of their hands as we hiked some rough terrain and they'd offer me more granola bars to snack on. We all helped each other and along the way we bonded as we shared stories.
It was interesting to see that they left tangerine peels to mark the way they came so that they could better make the return trip back. Genius!
By the time we got back to the road where I had seen the opening into the jungle where the river had over run the road, I was surprised to discover that the parked vehicle that was still there was actually theirs! I exclaimed my surprise as I told them that it was their vehicle that made me curious enough to look closer and discovered the opening that began this jungle adventure for me. We all laughed about that. Even from that point on the road, it still would have been a long trek up the road to ascend the 2,000 foot valley to get to where I parked my car. So they offered to give me a lift and drove me all the way up. I sure was thankful because that saved me another 45 minutes so that I could get back on route to Kailua-Kona to make the luau.
Life Lesson #10 – Find mutual support in community with others on the same journey.
It's not as if any of us are better or stronger or smarter than anyone else on this journey. It's that we find mutual support for one another along our common journey.
One of the blessings that came to me in starting the Two World Collision blog three years ago was crossing paths with others in the blogosphere. As I'm sure people were finding mine and being blessed, so I was also finding others and their blogs and being blessed through their stories and journeys. Back then I discovered my friends JJ (at Christian, Gay, and Confused) and E (at Paradoxy) both of whom were also in the closet with their online identity at the time. The three of us seemed to be processing similar things and we found that on some level we could each relate to what we were writing about. I also discovered Peterson Toscano (at A Musing) who was much more mature than I and he's been an example to me for using one's story to help others. I discovered Christine (at Rising Up from the Ashes now Rising Up Whole) and was encouraged by her unique story. I loved her raw honesty about her own personal spiritual journey.
And of course I came to discover more and more people on a similar journey and I began to see a community emerge from each of our willingness to share our stories and to participate in each other's stories through comments, emails, chats, and dialogue. I can say, for myself, that what I needed most at that time was to know that I wasn't alone. The Lord provided for that need through those very loved ones that were bold enough to share their story proclaiming their presence on the journey right along with me.
As this Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community for Gay and Straight Journey Christians develops, I'm hoping that this can be a place where we can walk with each other and journey together.
The ladies gave me a ride to the top. I rode in the hatch-back rear of the vehicle and I could see the beautiful lush valley that I had just been through. Having been right in the thick of it and having explored miles of the valley's hidden treasures and its waterfall, I reminisced about the journey as we ascended higher and higher.
This was a completely spontaneous adventure sparked by my curiosity. I was at the top of the tourist overlook appreciating the view of this amazing valley. One key question was a catalyst for the adventure of my life.
Where does that road lead to?
And the journey began from taking mere pictures of the valley as a tourist to experiencing it for myself.