Recently I decided to throw caution to the winds and start exploring possibilities of joining a church even though I have disliked the idea of churchianity. I like the church because this church seemed so committed to reaching out to the community and truly bringing the kingdom of God to earth. As I usually do, once I decided to explore, I went all out. I attended a Christmas Eve service with my husband, former husband and our two children (one by each of the fathers) and thoroughly enjoyed everything about it.

I felt inspired to learn more about the New Heights Church. I was impressed by the conversations I had with one of the founders, two of the pastors and two of the worship leaders. When I talked to the youth pastor, I felt inspired to ask him the question, "what is your stand on homosexuality?" He said that they considered it to be a sin, but they loved homosexuals.

I was really torn. Everything I experienced lined up with my values--except the stand on homosexuality, and I wanted to ignore this issue because I really wanted to have a place where I could find other Jesus followers to walk with. I have not found a church home since I was excluded from the fellowship where I was inspired to commit my life to Christ—because I could not say the bible was inerrant. (I do believe it is the inspired word of God.)

One of the reasons I don’t want to attend a church where homosexuality is considered a sin is because my brother is gay, and has been in a monogamous, loving relationship for 25 years. We have a very close, loving relationship, and he recently gave his life to Jesus. I also have many friends who are gay, and one of my dear friends came out as bi recently, and is marrying a transgendered woman.

I familiar with www.Soulforce.org, whom I learned about when my family came under verbal attack and threats of violence by a neighbor and former fellow church member when he found out that we were willing to accept gays and transgenders in our eco-village we were starting. The stress caused by his barrage of negative emails was enormous and scary. The individual ended up apologizing. He admitted that he had an inordinate fear of gays having been raped by a man when he was a boy. We will never know if this stress caused my husband to have a perforated appendix at the end of the ordeal--but it certainly did not help! Thankfully, we have had quite a bit of reconciliation since he has read the book, THE SHACK, which I highly recommend.

I talked to the lead pastor at a coffee house called Encounter. I asked him where the church stood on homosexuality. He said, "that must be a burning issue for you." I said, "I'm not gay, but it is a burning issue." I felt a little defensive, like I had to say I wasn't gay--I feel bad about that--something to think about for me.

He and his wife shared that they had just had a lesson in this a few months ago. They had a speaker and a formerly gay person who said that homosexuality was not genetic, and that it was a sin that God could help people heal. I asked the wife where she found in the bible that homosexuality was a sin. She said that it came from Genesis, where God said something about creating man and woman, and it was good. "We don't spend time talking about these things--we just try to be Christ to people." I really appreciated this couple’s willingness to talk in a calm manner about this issue. I was glad that they didn’t focus on differences. Yet at the same time, I would feel uncomfortable inviting a friend who was either gay or supportive of gays to a church where the stated value was that their sexuality was a sin.

I was considering changing my mind about the issue so that I could finally join a church and feel a sense of belonging that I yearn for. I left the Methodist church where I was raised when I was sixteen because I was laughed at for asking the question "Why do we have to go through Jesus to get to God?" Even though I was chairperson of the Youth Council and my parents were very active lay leaders, somehow I had missed this crucial information. I didn't like being laughed at.

After about 33 years of searching all different religions for a better way, I returned to my roots, committing my life to Jesus when I found a group of believers who demonstrated a passion for Jesus that appeared to me like unconditional love for each other and me. When I found out later that I was condemned by many because I had not legally divorced my former husband, and was not legally married to my present husband, and the whole thing was dealt with in extremely hurtful ways, I left the fellowship after having all rights taken away. I was so desperate for a sense of belonging and community that I still attended even though I was forbidden to pray aloud. When I was told I couldn't even speak and share my testimony (as others could), I finally gave up and stopped attending.

So I can identify with so much of what you share, because all my life I have been different, and yearned to belong, and even though not gay, during the time that I was exploring and experimenting with polyfidelity (group marriage) I found much persecution and condemnation--although I was not a Jesus follower at the time.

The next morning, as often happens, I woke up with a clear answer. I could not belong to a church that considered homosexuality to be a sin. By joining I would be agreeing that homosexuality was a sin, and basically calling my brother and all my gay friends, Christ followers and followers of other paths--sinners. I am so committed to being the hands and feet of Jesus, and know that my actions can inspire people to be open to Jesus, or closed--and the desire to belong is less strong than the desire to do God's will. Thanks be to God's mercy for that.

I really wanted to share something very inspiring and meaningful with the pastors of this church. I hoped that perhaps they would consider changing their view. I put a post on the Godjourney yahoo group, people who have read THE SHACK and who are exploring ideas such as you share--similar to Journey Christians.

I had never posted on this site before, finding myself too busy. But I felt compelled, and hopeful that people might respond to me with compassion.

Eric’s friend responded by sharing her views, and about her friendship with Eric, and encouraged people to read your blog. She said that she rarely checks this yahoo group, but was inspired to do so and was glad she could contribute her views and the link to www.twoworldcollision.blogspot.com. I immediately visited this blog, and spent about four hours into the wee hours of the morning. I was going to be very practical and do things to promote my organizing business when I have rare time to be on computer, but the command that Jesus gave us, “seek ye first the kingdom of God” compelled me to read Eric’s writing and explore this topic to the depths.

I feel so encouraged by Eric’s passion for bridge building. I am the same. I want to be a bridge builder. I see this topic tearing apart of Christendom as well as turning off people who potentially would be drawn to Jesus. I value Eric’s participation, and want to see how I can be involved.

My vision is to have an intentional community here in Arkansas on our 27 acres of land where we live in community and train people to become community organizers who learn how to effectively and practically be the hands and feet of Jesus in an organic way in their own neighborhoods, or neighborhoods where they choose to reach out to.

You can read more about me at www.patriciamikkelson.wordpress.com and www.becomeorganized.wordpress.com and www.neighborhoodsurvival.wordpress.com I wish I could pull all my blogs together and get organized like Eric--having a family takes a lot of my time--but at last I see that nurturing my family is satisfying service.

I love the idea of Journey Christians. I hope to help this site become a thriving community that greatly contributes to bridge building. I am all about dialogue and reconciliation. For the past twenty years I have practiced a way of communicating called non-violent communication. www.cnvc.org If more Jesus followers would learn this it would help them to communicate so much more effectively and lovingly and truthfully.

It was only about 5 weeks ago when I told Jesus, “I still have a few doubts about who you are—but I am totally committed to living out your teachings, having a relationship with you, and sharing you with others.” I used to be allergic to the idea of sharing the gospel with others because too many times I had it shoved down my throat in a way that totally turned me off. By joining in an effort to build bridges between people of differing views within the Christian world, this also helps me build bridges with those who do not have a relationship with Jesus. By sharing with others how I am participating in this website, I have a wonderful opportunity to give a concrete example of followers of Jesus who are walking their talk. Thanks for this opportunity. I will be praying for lots of people to participate, connect, and encourage each other as we help to bring the kingdom of God on earth.