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| Version | User | Scope of changes |
|---|---|---|
| Dec 19 2008, 9:47 PM EST (current) | inlayterms | 348 words added |
| Dec 19 2008, 9:41 PM EST | inlayterms |
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I've just learned the my friend, Kristen, is going into hospice care for ovarian cancer. She is only 35. She and her partner were married this September, and she looked beautiful (and bald). Knowing that she is getting ready to die is really affecting our household.
We are asking ourselves what we really want out of life. How do we balance a smart planning for the future with the expectation that we don't know the number of our days? It's a constant struggle. With many of the other deaths I encountered this fall, I was a little distant, but this is different. She is a close friend. I admired her so much. She was so strong.
She has had a Caring Bridge blog for the past year or so. Today, she wrote to what amounted to a "goodbye" note. She talked about regrets. She talked about the things that she didn't get to do, because she didn't have time. From an outside perspective, I can't see that her life was missing anything. She was a lawyer. She was beautiful (in that butch, lesbian way). She was funny and tough. She even played at the Gay Games just before she was diagnosed. I can't find a flaw with her.
Tonight, my partner and I are having a conversation about what we want out of life. Knowing that her life is ending so shortly makes us take stock of where we are. Last year, I developed a "to do" list for life. Ideas that were really extravagant could make it on the list. At least then, I have a goal of what I'm moving toward. If I feel directionless, I can refer back to that list. I encouraged my partner to make a similar list.
What do we want out of life? If we don't know when we are going to die, it makes each day a little more precious. Who will we meet? What will we do? Life is a total mystery...a surprise...a gift. I think that we make God delighted when we do the best with that gift.
We are asking ourselves what we really want out of life. How do we balance a smart planning for the future with the expectation that we don't know the number of our days? It's a constant struggle. With many of the other deaths I encountered this fall, I was a little distant, but this is different. She is a close friend. I admired her so much. She was so strong.
She has had a Caring Bridge blog for the past year or so. Today, she wrote to what amounted to a "goodbye" note. She talked about regrets. She talked about the things that she didn't get to do, because she didn't have time. From an outside perspective, I can't see that her life was missing anything. She was a lawyer. She was beautiful (in that butch, lesbian way). She was funny and tough. She even played at the Gay Games just before she was diagnosed. I can't find a flaw with her.
Tonight, my partner and I are having a conversation about what we want out of life. Knowing that her life is ending so shortly makes us take stock of where we are. Last year, I developed a "to do" list for life. Ideas that were really extravagant could make it on the list. At least then, I have a goal of what I'm moving toward. If I feel directionless, I can refer back to that list. I encouraged my partner to make a similar list.
What do we want out of life? If we don't know when we are going to die, it makes each day a little more precious. Who will we meet? What will we do? Life is a total mystery...a surprise...a gift. I think that we make God delighted when we do the best with that gift.
