blue_spot

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Member since: Apr 4 2009, 2:30 PM EDT
Slogan: Step into that which cannot be earned by mindfulness or carefulness.
Friends: 6
Compliments: None

Why I'm Here on this Site

Finding this community, and specifically reading Eric's story, has been a Godsend. I needed to know there were other people out there who didn't conceive of their time in an ex-gay ministry as being this evil, brainwashing, abusive, and dark experience; but who at the same time, found that they could not live honestly and fully and truthfully with the understanding that they gained from participating in that ministry, and who only found themselves more caught than ever between two worlds they could not reconcile with the knowledge that they had. I know God, and I know that I have to continue with Him/Her to find out the truth. But that means LIVING; not out of fear and confusion, but out of faith and love. I'm doing the best I can, and I hope that outside of all the tired rhetoric, I will know Her/His truth. That love is all I have.
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Some Stats

Home town: Culver City (tiny unincorporated part of L.A. - home to Sony Entertainment Studios)
Current Location: Oaktown, baby! (that's Oakland, CA for the uninitiate)
Age: 30 (wow)

I identify as lesbian....possibly a bit bi.

The best word to describe me is: Hm, I don't think there's really one word. Get back to you if one suggests itself?

Interests: Graphic novels (aka comic books), movies, green technology, MUSIC, being outside, being cozy, languages, new experiences, becoming a financially peaceful entity

Favorite movies: Death Proof, Pieces of April, A Few Good Men, Shortbus...lots else

Favorite TV shows: BtVS (and other Whedonia), BSG, the Wire, Deadwood, etc.

 My hero(es): Never could answer this one.
My superpower is: Invisibility! The ability to breathe underwater! Putting my foot in my mouth! (Hey, greatest strength = greatest weakness.)

If I could live anywhere, it would be: Hm....exactly that. Anywhere.

My dream job: Environmental/Green Solutions researcher - casual clothes, an open office with lots of fun going on and a familial camaraderie with coworkers, 32 hour work week, communal garden plot on site, walking distance to food, home, and errand amenities. I just want to get paid to do the thinking and researching I already do on my own. And be with good people who care about the same thing while I'm doing it.
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SAY HELLO!
Would love to hear from ya/connect etc. =)


Latest page update: Jun 25 2009, 5:25 PM EDT

Threads

Started By Thread Subject Replies Last Post
blue_spot a godsend 4 Apr 16 2009, 3:42 PM EDT by blue_spot
blue_spot
Thread started: Apr 4 2009, 3:10 PM EDT  Watch
i.e. finding you all, finding this.

my lover is right. finally, a speaking up and out of those who experienced a loving time in an ex-gay ministry, who understood that it's all about God, and not about trying to be good enough for God, and that's ok to be oneself; it's a relief to know that I am not the only one who does not characterize their time in an ex-gay ministry as being repressive or coercive or to have consisted of brainwashing or being cultic.

the one lesson that i appreciated and still believe from my time in living waters is that i cannot leave my understanding or searching of God's relationship with me. and I now see that there are others just like me out there who are searching, and yet free; that the fence does not have to be our place forever, ending in either insanity or self-destruction.

i'm glad i finally took the time to look again for something like this, and i'm glad to be here.

thank you all.


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